My addictions developed out of several childhood traumas. Anger, shame, depression and anxiety led to self-medication. At first, alcohol and later crack cocaine worked to alleviate my “negative affect states,” or in plainer English, helped me to feel better. But doing so became highly self-destructive. Addictions tore my life apart.

 With help from others, I was able to get into recovery and rebuild my life. Doing so was difficult at first and took a lot of hard, painful work. My mantra was I will be clean and sober, “come Hell or high water!” Looking back, I see there were various elements that helped me to succeed. Consider the following continuum to help you recover, reach a desired goal or solve a problem:

 Identification-The first step in solving any problem is to recognize it as such. Before I got sober, I spent all my time around others similarly inclined, at parties, in bars with other users and hanging out with drug dealers. We all venerated our use. I was steeped in a culture of addictions that blinded me. My first step to recover was to admit to myself that I had a problem that was overwhelming any kind of reasonable existence and that the culture I spent time in had skewed my thinking.

 Research-Having finally recognized the problem, I next had to figure out who could help me to solve it and what were the steps I needed to take to get well. For me, this started with a therapist who had experience with addictions who could capably steer me to recovery. She began to spell out some of the things I needed to do to get, and remain clean and sober. But, here came my first obstacle: I thought she was greatly overstating what I needed to do. It sounded like too much! Looking back, it became clear that I hadn’t fully accepted the breadth and scope of the problem.  

Acceptance-Do we see the problem for what it is? Are we minimizing it? My failure to see that addictions had completely overwhelmed my life led to me picking up again and yet more consequences. My efforts were insufficient to solve this major problem. I was trying to wish it away rather than seeing the full scope of the problem. It is integral that we see the problem realistically and clearly. Otherwise we will fail to solve it. See it clearly. Accept it, fully and completely!

 Willingness-It should be clear by now mindset is integral! To be sober I needed to be willing and open to people and ideas that were a sharp departure from what I was used to. Who can help a guy to be sober? Well, other sober people! People who professionally work with addicts and alcoholics. I did what I could to push my mind as wide open as possible so I could learn as much as possible. I took lots of practical suggestions. I began to put some time together.  

 Commitment-This one is big! Your commitment and high motivation is what will carry you through the obstacles and frustration that learning inevitably entail. So, take a deep breath and dig in! Having lost my dignity and self-respect due to my addictions I realized that having any chance of a good life required me to stay clean and sober. When I was down, feeling lost or struggling with sadness or anxiety I remembered that recovery wasn’t conditional.  Self-medication was the old way of dealing with problems. The new way was to face things squarely and overcome them. Hidebound problems don’t get wished away. Commitment is integral. Go big!

 Discipline-From commitment comes discipline. We must do the day in and day out things that enable us to learn, reach our goals and overcome problems. Some part of most days must be given to learning. Our effort must be sustained over time. This doesn’t mean no days off or working ourselves into a heap. It does mean we must sustain our efforts over a time period sufficient to get us to where we want to be, and not allowing ourselves to be distracted away from our goals. It means we need to practice self-reflection from time to time: Have I been putting forth a good daily effort? Am I managing obstacles well? Have I been progressing, even if slowly? All progress is good!

 Consistency-A uniform daily approach to achieving our goals and solving our problems wins the day. Inconsistency stems from lack of discipline. We must understand that only through daily application and repetition do we improve. I want to succeed therefore I will dedicate myself regularly toward reaching my goal. If I drift I will rededicate myself. A consistent approach will enable progress and progress will build confidence. Over time, with a consistent approach success will come.

 Reflect regularly on whether or not these elements are part of your goals. With commitment, you CAN do it!