In order to spread the word a bit, I posted my previous short-post article, Is Relapse Part of Recovery in a subreddit on addictions. There were copious responses, some thirty over a day or so. I tried to answer them all. Some people were vehement that relapse was indeed part of recovery and who was I to say it wasn't! Other's agreed that relapse doesn't need to be a part of recovery. We agreed that relapse is not an uncommon experience in one's process of recovering.

Here's what I learned from these exchanges: Many people in recovery have had bad experiences when they relapsed where they felt shamed and stigmatized by family or caregivers. These experiences were counterproductive to getting well as people felt even further marginalized and pushed away. When I heard these stories, I immediately understood where people's vehemence was coming from. Shame should never be part of treatment and is counter-productive to helping people recover.

As a provider and a recovering addict, I understand those experiences and feelings well. As an active addict and alcoholic I carried an immense burden of shame every day. When working with clients who have relapsed my first step is to help relieve guilt and remorse post-relapse. I have worked with some relapsers who have a hard time moving back into recovery mode because the shame and guilt overwhelms their ability to plan and execute recovery. The second step is to help clients make a clear-eyed evaluation of why they relapsed. The idea being to learn from the outcome and move forward in recovery. If you have made a mistake how can you learn from it. Relapse then, can be instructive.

To summarize, if you are newly in treatment and looking to be clean and sober, you CAN do it. Put your shoulder into your recovery and don't look back. If you have relapsed, allow yourself to learn from the experience so that it doesn't happen again. Either way, be patient and trust that with time in recovery, your life WILL get better with time.