Start Small and Work Bigger

 Given my previous lack of success how could I turn my life around? I was struggling with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and the lingering effects of my addictions. At first blush there was so much wrong it was overwhelming. But I had to start somewhere and I was done wasting time. I began to go to bed earlier and woke a couple hours before work, allowing myself ample time to eat, groom and have some time alone before launching into the day. I made the commitment to this routine daily. I maintain it today because it still works. The result was that my attitude became more positive, my stress level reduced and I was more productive at work and at home. Whereas without sufficient sleep, nutrition and running late put me into a bad mood routinely, preparing for the day and having a reliable routine put me into a reliably good mood.

 Wanting More

 When I was thirty I was two years clean and sober but still tending bar. Obviously, as any recovering person can tell you, the job was not conducive to my recovery and added a thick layer of complication to my life. It paid the bills better than anything else I knew how to do but I understood if I wanted to get married and have a happy family life some day, I needed to build a viable career. That meant doing something I was terrified to do: go back to college. Given that I was a terrible high school student and had tried to go to college twice and failed both times, my confidence was lacking. Mine was a legacy of failure. But why? 

Half-Assed Attempts Lead to Failure and Erode Self-Esteem

As I considered the idea I reflected on my past academic performance, I realized It was a lot like my past work performance. I’d party instead of study, regularly skip classes and do assignments minimally, if at all. When it came time for exams, I’d cram at the last minute and try to bullshit my way through them. My grades reflected my effort. My performance created a ton of anxiety and made the experience unfulfilling.

Want it Badly-Go Big!

 I asked myself if this was something I truly wanted to do. I understood the importance of developing a career and earning enough money to support myself and a family. I also wanted to see myself as a success, someone who set a goal and achieved it. I was tired of being the guy who never reached his potential. I decided that I would graduate or die trying. My thought was to go big. I would show up every day, sit in the front of the class and focus and ask one question or comment in discussion in each class every day. Despite the fact that I had my daughter on weekends and had to work full-time while in college, these routines put me in good academic standing. It took five years but I graduated summa cum laude and well-poised for graduate school.

 

Checklist:

 1.   Self reflect and come to terms with the things you need to change about yourself.

2.  Fully accept that nobody but you can change your life. Others can help but you need to do the work.

3.   Seek others that have had success in the areas you want to change. Listen to them and take their suggestions. Keep your mind open!

4.   Learn to reflect on your progress and to self-encourage to improve. Any progress is good.

5.   Understand that obstacles are data points. What can you learn when things don’t go your way? You didn’t fail, you merely lost a battle in a war that you can win! Keep going!

6.  Develop daily routines that allow you to present the best version of yourself. (e.g. sleep, nutrition and exercise).

7.  Never quit! Too often people are making steady progress toward their goal get impatient and quit. Be patient, steady and resolute toward your goal. You CAN do it!

 Commitment, good routines and an open teachable mind will win the day. Success is a collection of good habits!