Because we are bound up in our trauma and the guilt, self-loathing and intensity of our anger and other feelings that go along with it, substances often become a balm that we rely on because at first they are so damn effective. What led me to self-medicate was that I was disconnected, alienated and full of distorted information about my self-worth.

 And, we have no other method to rely on. Feeling marginalized and unable to ask for help we seek other solutions. I remember my first alcohol-related buzz. Nothing relieved my suffering so readily and completely. I fell in love with the glowing warmth and quick dissipation of my alienation and loss. I didn’t know that alcohol and other substances would create a host of major problems as I became deeply dependent. It’s like a bad relationship we are compelled to despite its destructiveness. We forever persuade ourselves that if we just stick with it, in the end somehow, everything will be fine. This is the path I chose starting in early adolescence. Before I hit twenty, I was an early stage alcoholic and drug addict. I didn’t emerge from the utter destruction of my addictions until I was twenty-eight. The cost: a marriage, temporary custody of my daughter, IRS demanding owed taxes, financial destruction and a trail of broken relationships.

 Two other problems face the traumatized addict/alcoholic and confirm their unworthiness: the first is the inevitable loss of self-respect as the user puts the substance ahead of money, job, spouses, children, freedom and health. One sees himself self-sabotaging his life but is terrified to face the trauma and so continues. The other is the stigma of the alcoholic/addict or more commonly known as the “drunk” or “junkie.”  Others judge us based on the images those names conjure: the bum in the street who has passed out and pissed himself or the unkempt guy in the alley with a needle hanging out of his arm; the guy who’d do anything for a fix. The judgment comes without compassion for what has driven us to the behavior to begin with.

 According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse, 43.7 million people in the United States needed treatment for substance use disorders in 2022 yet only 6.8% of those received it. It is fair to note that these numbers reflect a wide range of reasons including that many alcoholics and addicts simply refuse to access treatment, but just the same that 6.8% is paltry and pitiable. It’s well known and accepted that stigma marginalizes people struggling with mental illness and/or addictions. 

Those with substance use disorders often face discrimination in health care settings and stigma reinforces our worthlessness. One example of this is the acronym GOMER which is a sometimes-used hospital code for Get Out of My Emergency Room that refers to people with substance abuse and/or mental health problems. Stigma is a significant societal barrier to wellness.

 

Part three focuses on what those with addictions and trauma can do to recover.